Countless people see bullies as a mere inconvenience rather than a truth to be reckoned with. But bullying behavior, like the assault we have committed on the planet, is abusive, and when repeated over and over again it can be detrimental.

Over the last several weeks I have been approached by parents having concerns about their children being bullied, ranging in age from kindergarten through high school. One child even suggested that he thought his parents should move out of the state! Childhood is filled with children learning to “play nice together” and for that matter, most adults are still learning that lesson too. But bullying is a serious matter and unfortunately, some parents overlook early signs of having a bully of their own, or their child’s experience of being bullied. They dismiss the evidence, as “kids will be kids”.

Conversely, other parents feel an initial rage when they hear or see a child being targeted. I have even heard my sweet, even-tempered husband refer to a little girl that was bossy and taunting my daughter Sasha to tears, as a terrorist! Ok, so maybe she wasn’t a true bully or a terrorist, but she managed to make my husband’s salt and pepper curls…. go straight! Fortunately, like my husband, a parent’s frenzy typically dissipates, but they are left with confusion as to how to help their child navigate the situation. Clearly, interventions will vary and depend upon the children’s ages, severity and frequency of bullying.

Our children really do need a kinder, gentler, and greener planet to grow up on. It’s up to all of us to stand up to the truth about bullying in our homes, playgrounds, play groups, classrooms, school hallways, and on the internet, while we empower our children with strategies for taking action on their own when they or their precious planet is being bullied!

Please submit comments or strategies on issues related to the Bully Factor!

Check back for Positive Parenting Tips for taking on bullies.

-June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a mommy of two, psychotherapist, and the owner of ExtraordinarYou, a life coaching and educational services business. To contact: June@URextraordinary.com

Parenting kids reminds me of preparing a deliciously satisfying but complicated dish! It is often daunting to search for the right healthy recipe with natural ingredients to make the dish wholesome with just the right amount of kick. What a relief when guests rave about the dish… even better when the dish creatively stands alone. What pride you feel at getting the recipe right.

True, the stakes are much higher when trying to get the recipe right when the dish we are tending is a child. As parents we search to find the ingredients to provide the right foundation for our children’s healthy development and growth. In my practice, and as a mom, I have researched many resources looking for helpful evidenced-based parenting information. I enjoy knowing that the “recipe” has been through a test kitchen before experimenting on our own kiddies. One such resource I often recommend is Search Institute.

Search Institute researched 40 developmental assets for helping children grow up “healthy, caring and responsible” including empowering children, setting boundaries and the importance of instilling values. In the mix of raising yummy kids there needs to be a fair amount of improvisation and cooking without a recipe. However, having a staple of ingredients such as, things you can do to help your child succeed (assets), may be worth stocking up on. But, who knew there were 40 of them! (For a complete list visit Search-Institute.org)

Lastly, combine cups filled with fun, love, patience, understanding and a dash of “thyme” for seasoning and you are bound to have a great dish of a kid!

-June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a Life Coach, Educator, Psychotherapist and mommy of two. To contact – June@URextraordinary.com

While driving my kids recently, I heard giggling from the backseat and felt overjoyed that everyone was getting along. That is, until I heard what the laughter was about. An innocent children’s rhyme that is all but innocent. I could not believe my ears—my children were in fact making fun of another culture’s appearances in their little rhyme… in my car…my children…with the values I have taught them…YIKES! How could they not understand that this was inappropriate and even hurtful to others? I tried not to go postal. I reminded myself that I was the therapist and the mother in this car—and driving. From my voice, they knew I was upset when I asked them to stop.

“You don’t let us have any fun,” said Eli. “It feels like we are the only ones I know who can’t make fun of anything. It’s not hurting anyone” Sasha chimed in. “Sam in my class taught me that joke,” she said. “He makes fun of all kinds of people, and kids think he’s funny.”

I was taken aback that my children had missed the idea that making fun of the way someone looks is hurtful. Apparently, my passion for human rights and equality did not guarantee that my children would be empathetic little apples that would fall from my tree. Children receive powerful messages outside our homes—in class, on the bus, at lunch, on the playground, and from friends and the good ol’ TV. There needs to be an ongoing effort regarding cultural and racial sensitivity. If moments can be teaching moments, this was gonna be a big one.

Talk to your kids about what makes a joke hurtful. Why do others laugh if it is so wrong? What could be said to those who tell the inappropriate joke? How can we celebrate diversity?

To be continued…

–June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a Life Coach, Educator, Psychotherapist and mommy of two. To contact – June@urextraordinary.com

It feels like an epidemic: as parents, we struggle with our children’s relationships with our in-laws. Unless you are one of the lucky ones bragging that “my in-laws watched the kids this weekend while we went to a yoga retreat,” or “ I know the organic cotton baby bumpers are a bit more expensive, but my mother-in-law understands and insists—only the best for Ayden!”

Generally, the common phrases used to describe the in-laws are: overbearing, controlling, disinterested and/or out-of-touch. It may be difficult to know how to address these issues—after all, they are your in-laws. Sneaking sugary treats to your tots without your approval, showering your kids with inappropriate toys, forgetting to acknowledge your tyke’s birthday (again), or constantly bending your rules—these mind-boggling episodes have sent many parents (including myself) racing from the room during family visits while biting their tongues, eventually shoving another dollar into the piggy bank labeled “Little Eli’s Future Therapy,” all in an effort to keep the peace.

If this sounds familiar, you might consider preserving your sanity by having a respectful sit-down conversation between you, your spouse and your in-laws to discuss your parenting values. (Although, this may seem like an obvious step, it’s one most of us don’t take.) Surprisingly, they may not recognize why you feel strongly until you explain your reasoning to them. This discussion will give all of you a platform for fostering that special intergenerational bond. It might even allow you to crack open Eli’s piggy bank and treat yourselves to a delicious organic lunch out—or a trip to the Bahamas, depending on the level of in-law stress you’ve endured!

Written by: June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a Life Coach, Educator, Psychotherapist and mommy of two.
To contact - LifeCoachingYou@Verizon.net