Healthy, the brand.

I find grocery shopping totally overwhelming. For every one word on my list, there are fifty brands on the shelf competing for my business, trying to differentiate themselves with signifiers that don’t seem to have anything to do with why I need it. It helps to know that my mustard is Dijon or Yellow, but I don’t have the energy to decide whether I want my mustard to be in the tradition of Poland, Ireland, Holland, or India, whether I want it to contain Champagne or Chardonnay, be organic or just all-natural, be “One Mean Mustard” or a “Crazy Mother Pucker Maniacal Mustard.”  I don’t have the time, either. Actually, my barbecue starts in a half hour.

What’s worse, is that while navigating the complexities of branding, I now have to process more symbols cropping up on the packages of some of staple foods, like cereals and crackers and yogurts. They’re not exactly brand names—these small, colorful ovals and checks look like endorsements or seals of approval. Instinctually, they make me feel better about reaching for those products, but it’s unclear who’s giving me permission to feel good about them. Paranoid that I’m being manipulated by Big Food, I did some research into what these markings are all about. Of course, I’m not just being paranoid, all of these labels are industry-backed in some way. Here’s what I found out:

Smart Choices
This green check of distinction comes from the Smart Choices Program, in which companies pay to have their products reviewed for selection. Among the companies who signed up are Kraft, General Mills, and Pepsi; companies best known for polluting grocery store shelves with really terrible nutritional choices are footing the bill for a nutritional labeling program.

The good news? The program voluntarily stopped certifying products, after a lot of bad publicity, including criticism from the FDA, whose neutral, slightly complicated back-of-package labeling was compromised by the quick approval of a front-of-package check mark). Smart Choices’ criteria for selection was based on sheer nutrients, not the vehicle for those nutrients, which meant sugary cereals, vitamin enriched white bread, low-fat and regular mayonnaise all qualified.

Best Life

The green oval is the seal of approval of Best Life, a diet plan by Bob Greene and endorsed by Oprah Winfrey. The Best Life criteria are vague: “They contain one or more of the following nutritious ingredients: whole grains, healthy fats, fiber, vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, and other essential nutrients.”

Although it doesn’t say if companies pay for review by Best Life, the site calls the brands they approve of “partners,” and, with such expansive criteria, it’s impossible to imagine Oprah’s diet guru would have time to check every time on the shelf fairly. The list is hit or miss: offering healthy staples like Muir Glen organic canned veggies and Cascadian Farms cereals, but it also has dubious choices like artifically sweetened Slim Fasts, artificially-colored  yogurts. Also suspicious: Many of the brands listed—Progresso, Green Giant, Yoplait and more—are part of the General Mills family. Even if the General Mills products are healthy, it’s one company who is decidedly not involved in the Best Life plan for this planet.

Heart Check Mark

The red heart on your cereal box means that the American Heart Association has certified it a heart-healthy food. That means that the food is low in saturated fat and cholesterol, which is good, but even the certification note admits it’s only one aspect of reducing your risk of heart disease. Heart Check does not take sugar, calories, glycemic index into account—all of which can contribute to obesity and, in effect, heart disease. What’s the cost of this faint praise? To participate in the AHA’s certification program, manufacturers pay $7,500 per product the first year, and $4,500 every year after that.

Chalk it up to more proof that the real healthy foods don’t have boxes and wrappers to stick labels on. Next time I’m feeling stressed in the supermarket, I’ll stick to the perimeter.

-Kat, Editorial Intern

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