The Boob Chronicles: Winning the Gold!!
By the time I left the hospital, baby Sylvie had bit my nipple and swallowed part of it. It was bleeding and raw. We both had yeast infections, which my doctor didn’t treat so the pain grew more and more intense. Not only was I angry at my doctor for not knowing anything about breastfeeding, angry at the hospital lactation consultant for pushing her social agenda of “keep breastfeeding no matter what,” but I was also angry at my girlfriends who never told me how difficult and painful it was. I was terrified of my sweet little baby every time she had to eat. So instead of being happy and elated, I felt angry, stupid, scared and alone. Great.. But I was not giving up!
After breast infections, house calls from the amazing boob doctor Dr. Mona Gabbay and the illustrious Susan Berger, emailing photographs of my breasts to them both, weekly breastfeeding support group meetings at Real Birth, begging and paying our post-partum doula Tara Brooke to sleep over, having my dear husband latch Sylvie onto me
(which was like waiting for the perfect wave), banning my unsupportive mother from coming over for weeks, and even pumping for two weeks to get of the mental hang-ups I had created, at exactly eight weeks and one day, it stopped hurting. And we got into a rhythm. And no formula! I won! But don’t get me wrong—this was my Olympic Event and no one else’s.
I learned that women don’t tell their pregnant friends how hard it is because they don’t want them to stop trying, give up or be scared. It’s like a gang initiation rite. I now give the Sears “Breastfeeding Book” at any and all baby showers. New moms look at it with an “oh….” and soon-to-be grandmothers look at it equally suspiciously, hoping for cute Baby Gap outfits. But a month after the babies are born, they’re all grateful!
Tags: baby, breastfeeding, mom
