And, HHF, I think the Easter basket was plush (some sort of giraffe – tofiraffe? perhaps with the nutritional content of cotton candy but more filling (pun intended)). But, now we’re heading to my daughter’s school seder so those dogs will be stealing Matzo soon, I’m sure. As though the dogs weren’t stinky enough, matzo really amps it up so we avoid giving it them as much as verboten chocolate.

I still think my editor’s elimination diet of pink marshmallow peeps and vodka martinis might just be the way to go.

Edamommy

Anthony Bourdain (man of my meat and travel-lusty dreams) once said that the single most disgusting thing he has ever eaten is a chicken nugget–and that was a REAL one. I know people love “food replacements;” I have been seduced by them myself–having eaten an entire Entenmann’s Fat-Free Coffee Cake on MORE than one unwise and empty occasion during The Fat Scourge of the late ‘80s–but as you’ve surmised, there are some dodgy bits necessary to prop up all these caloric mirages.

Did we learn NOTHING from Olestra (can you say “anal leakage” in a family magazine if it’s a consumer health warning?).

Replacement meat= Too many ingredients + Too little time to one’s self in a non-husband, non-“potty training friendly” bathroom = regret that can make a girl pray for the day they introduce a Morningafterstar Pill.

But, if meat were off the table, I would still consider the Easter Basket first (pure fiber), the Cheatin’ Lugnuts second.

PS: The only grey spongey food that is actually very good is that wonderful sour bread you get with Ethiopian.