Edamommy’s Vegan Diary: Vegansexuals and the New Dating Game (pun intended)
One edamommy attempts to cut meat out of her life.
I read an article in the New York Times about vegansexuals. That’s a new one.
One quick Google and I see there are many lifestyle-based internet dating sites; I’m talking food orientation. The home page of one of the sites has a couple kissing next to a buffet of vegetable crudités (uh-oh – I spy ranch dressing:. “You’re not a vegan! You lied to me! You probably eat hot wings in your closet. You, you cheatin’ vegan!”)Well, I am shouting it from the mountaintops: I am a vegan (sort of) and I am in love with a bone-afied meat-eater! There. I said it. -“Edamommy” Mary Talalay is a writer for KIWI Magazine
Tags: addiction, attempts, dating sites, eggs, genius, google, holy cow, hot wings, kiwi, lifestyle, mailman, new york times, orientation, ranch dressing, relationship, spy, talalay, true love, vegan, vegansexuals
April 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
It’s not ranch, I swear! It’s silken tofu whipped with rice milk, Nayonnaise, garlic powder, onion salt, herbs and a splash of lemon…
Someone once said kissing a non-vegan was like kissing a smoker - you could taste (or was it smell?) the meat on them. Ewwww! One more reason you should stop now!
Just kidding
April 7th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Annelies, that recipe sounds dreadfully far from the full-fat dairy Ranch dressing I know and love in a puddle next to my T-bone.
The herbs and splash of lemon are the only thing saving it, my friend.
On the wind it is spoken: that the W.C. of a non-Vegan reeks of a lion’s den, no matter the YEARS that may (oh, no) pass. You’d think it would all come out in the end–since meat-gnashers don’t seem to frequent the loo nearly as much as those of the bean & birdseed brethren.
How pitiful, thinking on the life of the Covert Carnivore! Doomed by best intentions, destined to
April 7th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
…assuage his true nature with a handful of Slim Jims in an inside pocket, a surrepetitious spoonful of sour cream at the salad bar, listening for the midnight THUD! on the front porch, so he can intercept that cooler full of Omaha Steaks before he’s revealed as an imposter.
“Nothing honey! Go back to sleep (gnaw, gnaw)! I’m just reupholstering the glider cushions!”
A bloody trail leading back to his meat-deprived heart.
WAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
April 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
HHF:
You are a genius. I would read any novel that you published - twice. You are the Beavis to my Butthead, the snow to my toboggan and the stick to my fruit kebab.
Annelies - anyone who visits and comments my blog is like family. Thank you!
I salute you.
Edamommy
April 7th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
HHF you have me positively dizzy my friend with your layers upon layers of metaphor and dual meaning. I swear some of it I didn’t catch until I read it the second time (out of enjoyment)! But admit it, you are totally holding back from commenting about the stick/fruit kebab.
Edamommy, I would have to agree that you two are the frick to the other’s frack. Linguistical genius weds good natured gumption and out comes you two.