Comments on: Stop Bullying me…and my Planet! http://kiwimagonline.com/kiwilog/short-parenting-articles/stop-bullying-meand-my-planet Environmentally Friendly - Healthy Lifestyle and Nutrition tips for Healthy Homes Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:46:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: edamommy http://kiwimagonline.com/kiwilog/short-parenting-articles/stop-bullying-meand-my-planet/comment-page-1#comment-1138 edamommy Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:09:31 +0000 http://kiwimagonline.com/kiwilog/2008/07/17/stop-bullying-meand-my-planet/#comment-1138 Thanks for writing this! I have a 4-year-old daughter and I have already been witnessing bullying, cliques and general anti-social behavior for years. It is amazing to me how such young children decide on hierarchies at the playground and who is on the in or out. I have another observation: I know many moms who I consider to be sweet, kind and sensitive who have kids who show some of these clique/bully traits at school and in the playground, so I don't know how the association works. I heard an author on NPR talking about how she was mercilessly bullied in school and, 30 years later, she can barely cope because of the scars it left on her. I am searching in vain for the name of the book but I think this author actually confronted these bullies decades later. I do see some of these things as chances to teach my daughter about resilience, confidence and other skills, but I will readily admit that I have and do intervene. I try to handle the situation as I would want her to - say things like "your words just hurt my feelings," "stop! no! you are being too rough," or teaching her to walk away or tell an adult. I feel like if I sort of act in a positive way in her presence and show her the ropes of managing bullies and cliques, she will have an easier time when I am not around to coach her. But, I do also tell her that I personally have a 0 tolerance policy for bullying to let her know that I won't accept that behavior from her (my worry is actually that she is so sensitive that she will be the victim). I was a shy kid and really had to learn on my own the art of dodging bullies and not being so sensitive to what other people said. I experienced some physical bullying, but nothing to the extreme of what I hear about these days. At no point do I think it is acceptable or appropriate. I have even had bosses who were simply bullies! So, teaching kids early about how to manage the situation is critical for a lifetime. And, certainly teaching kids that bullying is never acceptable is important as well. Like you, I really hope for a kinder, gentler planet. Edamommy Thanks for writing this!

I have a 4-year-old daughter and I have already been witnessing bullying, cliques and general anti-social behavior for years. It is amazing to me how such young children decide on hierarchies at the playground and who is on the in or out. I have another observation: I know many moms who I consider to be sweet, kind and sensitive who have kids who show some of these clique/bully traits at school and in the playground, so I don’t know how the association works.

I heard an author on NPR talking about how she was mercilessly bullied in school and, 30 years later, she can barely cope because of the scars it left on her. I am searching in vain for the name of the book but I think this author actually confronted these bullies decades later.

I do see some of these things as chances to teach my daughter about resilience, confidence and other skills, but I will readily admit that I have and do intervene. I try to handle the situation as I would want her to - say things like “your words just hurt my feelings,” “stop! no! you are being too rough,” or teaching her to walk away or tell an adult. I feel like if I sort of act in a positive way in her presence and show her the ropes of managing bullies and cliques, she will have an easier time when I am not around to coach her. But, I do also tell her that I personally have a 0 tolerance policy for bullying to let her know that I won’t accept that behavior from her (my worry is actually that she is so sensitive that she will be the victim).

I was a shy kid and really had to learn on my own the art of dodging bullies and not being so sensitive to what other people said. I experienced some physical bullying, but nothing to the extreme of what I hear about these days. At no point do I think it is acceptable or appropriate. I have even had bosses who were simply bullies! So, teaching kids early about how to manage the situation is critical for a lifetime. And, certainly teaching kids that bullying is never acceptable is important as well.

Like you, I really hope for a kinder, gentler planet.

Edamommy

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