KIWI parents know what an important job it is to keep our children healthy and protected when they are young. Unfortunately, part of that protection is giving them the tools they need to begin to address the harsh realities that life can bring, including the “Bully Factor”. Our kiddos may find it helpful if we can define a bully and help them to identify bullying behavior when and if they should encounter one. As raised in Stop Bullying me…and my Planet part one, teaching children action steps to address what to do if they are being bullied will help to empower them when faced with a frightening situation.

Defining a bully for your child may be the first useful step. Bullying amongst kids usually takes the form of repeated intimidating behaviors, usually using domineering physical or psychological tactics. Here are a few indicators to look for to help your child understand if they are being bullied. For younger kids, bullying may take the form of:

• Grabbing, pushing, shoving
• Teasing, name calling, taunting
• Taking things without permission
• Starting rumors
• Being excluded or left out
• Other blatant mean and hurtful intimidating behaviors

When discussing actions steps for handling a bully with your child, stress that generally, bullying is behavior that is repeated over and over again (not just a “one time incident”). Here are some empowering options for you and your child to discuss as you begin to “take on the bullies”:

• Don’t “take the bait”- bullies seek out sensitive children.
• Stay near friends and adults
• Be assertive and tell the bully to stop.
• Embrace differences. Bullies attack anything “different.” Celebrate who you are!
• Work on expressing your emotions without fear.
• Tell your parents and teachers about the bully!

If your child is being bullied I would like to hear your concerns and strategies for facing “the Bully Factor.”

-June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a mommy of two, psychotherapist, and the owner of ExtraordinarYou, a life coaching and educational services business. To contact: June@URextraordinary.com

Countless people see bullies as a mere inconvenience rather than a truth to be reckoned with. But bullying behavior, like the assault we have committed on the planet, is abusive, and when repeated over and over again it can be detrimental.

Over the last several weeks I have been approached by parents having concerns about their children being bullied, ranging in age from kindergarten through high school. One child even suggested that he thought his parents should move out of the state! Childhood is filled with children learning to “play nice together” and for that matter, most adults are still learning that lesson too. But bullying is a serious matter and unfortunately, some parents overlook early signs of having a bully of their own, or their child’s experience of being bullied. They dismiss the evidence, as “kids will be kids”.

Conversely, other parents feel an initial rage when they hear or see a child being targeted. I have even heard my sweet, even-tempered husband refer to a little girl that was bossy and taunting my daughter Sasha to tears, as a terrorist! Ok, so maybe she wasn’t a true bully or a terrorist, but she managed to make my husband’s salt and pepper curls…. go straight! Fortunately, like my husband, a parent’s frenzy typically dissipates, but they are left with confusion as to how to help their child navigate the situation. Clearly, interventions will vary and depend upon the children’s ages, severity and frequency of bullying.

Our children really do need a kinder, gentler, and greener planet to grow up on. It’s up to all of us to stand up to the truth about bullying in our homes, playgrounds, play groups, classrooms, school hallways, and on the internet, while we empower our children with strategies for taking action on their own when they or their precious planet is being bullied!

Please submit comments or strategies on issues related to the Bully Factor!

Check back for Positive Parenting Tips for taking on bullies.

-June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a mommy of two, psychotherapist, and the owner of ExtraordinarYou, a life coaching and educational services business. To contact: June@URextraordinary.com