Parenting kids reminds me of preparing a deliciously satisfying but complicated dish! It is often daunting to search for the right healthy recipe with natural ingredients to make the dish wholesome with just the right amount of kick. What a relief when guests rave about the dish… even better when the dish creatively stands alone. What pride you feel at getting the recipe right.

True, the stakes are much higher when trying to get the recipe right when the dish we are tending is a child. As parents we search to find the ingredients to provide the right foundation for our children’s healthy development and growth. In my practice, and as a mom, I have researched many resources looking for helpful evidenced-based parenting information. I enjoy knowing that the “recipe” has been through a test kitchen before experimenting on our own kiddies. One such resource I often recommend is Search Institute.

Search Institute researched 40 developmental assets for helping children grow up “healthy, caring and responsible” including empowering children, setting boundaries and the importance of instilling values. In the mix of raising yummy kids there needs to be a fair amount of improvisation and cooking without a recipe. However, having a staple of ingredients such as, things you can do to help your child succeed (assets), may be worth stocking up on. But, who knew there were 40 of them! (For a complete list visit Search-Institute.org)

Lastly, combine cups filled with fun, love, patience, understanding and a dash of “thyme” for seasoning and you are bound to have a great dish of a kid!

-June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a Life Coach, Educator, Psychotherapist and mommy of two. To contact – June@URextraordinary.com

While driving my kids recently, I heard giggling from the backseat and felt overjoyed that everyone was getting along. That is, until I heard what the laughter was about. An innocent children’s rhyme that is all but innocent. I could not believe my ears—my children were in fact making fun of another culture’s appearances in their little rhyme… in my car…my children…with the values I have taught them…YIKES! How could they not understand that this was inappropriate and even hurtful to others? I tried not to go postal. I reminded myself that I was the therapist and the mother in this car—and driving. From my voice, they knew I was upset when I asked them to stop.

“You don’t let us have any fun,” said Eli. “It feels like we are the only ones I know who can’t make fun of anything. It’s not hurting anyone” Sasha chimed in. “Sam in my class taught me that joke,” she said. “He makes fun of all kinds of people, and kids think he’s funny.”

I was taken aback that my children had missed the idea that making fun of the way someone looks is hurtful. Apparently, my passion for human rights and equality did not guarantee that my children would be empathetic little apples that would fall from my tree. Children receive powerful messages outside our homes—in class, on the bus, at lunch, on the playground, and from friends and the good ol’ TV. There needs to be an ongoing effort regarding cultural and racial sensitivity. If moments can be teaching moments, this was gonna be a big one.

Talk to your kids about what makes a joke hurtful. Why do others laugh if it is so wrong? What could be said to those who tell the inappropriate joke? How can we celebrate diversity?

To be continued…

–June Grushka-Rosen M.Ed. is a Life Coach, Educator, Psychotherapist and mommy of two. To contact – June@urextraordinary.com